Advocating for your Child

Advocating for your child isn’t just about speaking up—it’s about knowing when, where, and how to be heard. It’s about persistence in a system that often feels overwhelming and unfair. And if you, like me, struggle with self-doubt, worry about what others think, or find yourself wanting to please everyone, advocacy can feel even harder.

I know there are parents out there who seem to navigate this effortlessly—confident, assertive, unwavering. That’s not me. I am articulate, intelligent, and skilled at influencing people. But I’m also plagued with self-doubt and the desire to avoid conflict. And yet, I have learned to advocate for my child because I had to.

Here are the strategies that help me, and I hope they help you too.

1. Be Clear on What You Want to Achieve

Before entering any meeting, conversation, or email exchange, be clear with yourself about your goals. What do you need for your child? What outcome are you looking for

Ask yourself:

What is the ideal result I’m hoping for?

What’s the minimum acceptable outcome?

What are the key points I need to communicate?

And just as importantly—is this the right time and place? Do I have the right people in the room? A well-timed conversation with the right decision-makers is far more effective than endless discussions that go nowhere.

2. Sow Seeds for Future Change

Not everything can be solved in one meeting. Often, people need time to process ideas and warm up to new approaches. Instead of pushing for an immediate yes, sow seeds.

If you want to introduce a different way of supporting your child, mention it early. Bring up ideas casually before they become agenda points. This way, when it’s time for a formal discussion, people are already familiar with the concept and less likely to resist it.

3. Know the System (Or Find Someone Who Does)

The bureaucracy in education, healthcare, and social services is a maze of red tape, policies, and procedures. If you have the capacity, learn how the system works. If you don’t, get help.

Advocacy services exist to help parents navigate these complexities. They can explain processes, attend meetings with you, and ensure you’re not being misled or ignored. Don’t hesitate to use them.

4. Listen and Reflect

Advocating for your child doesn’t mean dismissing other perspectives. Being open-minded is key to finding the best solutions.

Listen actively – even if you disagree, understanding other viewpoints can help you build stronger arguments.

If you feel overwhelmed, ask for time – You don’t have to commit to anything on the spot. If something doesn’t feel right but you can’t articulate why, say, “I’d like some time to reflect on this before making a decision.” Buying yourself time prevents emotional reactions and allows for clearer thinking.

Be curious – Ask questions rather than making assumptions. A simple, “Can you explain how this will benefit my child?” can uncover underlying biases or gaps in reasoning.

5. Follow Up with Emails (And Use AI to Help!)

Verbal agreements mean little unless they are documented. Always follow up with an email summarising what was discussed and agreed upon.

Copy everyone involved to create accountability.

If a decision was made, confirm it in writing: “Just to clarify, we agreed that…”

If action is needed, be clear about next steps: “Please confirm when this will be implemented.”

If you struggle to find the time (or the right words), use AI to draft emails. Speak your thoughts aloud, let AI organise them into a clear message, and edit if needed. This can be a lifesaver for busy parents juggling too many responsibilities.

Final Thoughts: You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Effective

You don’t need to be the loudest or most confident person in the room to advocate successfully. You just need to be clear, be persistent, and be strategic.

Know what you want.

Sow seeds for future conversations.

Learn the system or get support.

Listen, reflect, and take your time.

Follow up in writing.

Most of all, trust yourself. No one knows your child better than you do. You are their greatest advocate, and even when self-doubt creeps in, remember: you are the right person for this job.

If you’re navigating this journey too, I’d love to hear your experiences. What strategies have helped you advocate for your child? Let’s support each other in making our voices heard.